Kidnap
by OwlCookies XD
Summary: Pride kidnaps Edward and Alphonse Elric to use them as human sacrifices. But maybe, he needs to get his eyes checked first.


**OwlCookies: bwahaha hahha lolzafoo! xD this was inspired by watching this asian drama parody :P**

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"So kids… remind me, what are your names?" a man in a white lab coat.

Russell pointed to his little brother, Fletcher, then to himself. "That's my brother Alphonse. I'm Edward."

The man leaned closer and studied their faces. He crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Nope. No. I don't believe you two are the Elric brothers. Nice try but _everyone_ knows that Edward Elric is shorter than his brother and that Alphonse Elric stays in a metal suit," he huffed.

….

Ed and Al were in a train talking about something when all of a sudden, Ed growled angrily. An anger mark appeared over his head.

"What is it brother?" Al asked.

"I just got a feeling that somewhere, someone called me short," Ed replied angrily.

Al sighed. "Brother, that's probably not true." (LAUGH AT THE IRONY! LAUGH AT IT!-oc)

….

"I don't think you have your information right! We-" Russell protested.

"No! Get outta here you lousy kids! I've seen the Elric brothers with my own eyes!"

Grumbling angrily, Russell and Fletcher left the building and walked along the street thinking of what to do next.

Accidentally, they bumped into the real Elric brothers who were walking with Major Maes Hughes.

"My wife is so adorable! I can't believe that –blah blah blah blah- I really wish I could go home now! –blah blah blah- What if Gracia has the baby without me? –blah blah blah- That would be terrible! I want to be there with her! –blah blah blah- What if _Roy_ steals her from me! Oh that playboy!" Hughes rambled on and on.

"Major, earlier I realized that Lieutenant Hawkeye already said this. But let me give you the same feminine advice again," Ed growled. "BABIES AREN'T BORN AFTER JUST FIVE MONTHS!"

"Oh but what if our baby is premature! What if-blah blah blah-" He continued his rambling.

Groaning and rolling his eyes in annoyance, Ed blocked out all sounds from the older man.

"She… Ooof! Hey! Watch where you're going!" Hughes exclaimed looking down at four boys who had fallen.

"Ughh!" Ed grumbled, clutching his head and sitting up.

"Brother! Be nice!" Al scolded.

In front of them, Russell and Fletcher stood up.

"I'm sorry," they both apologized together.

Shadows fell upon Russell and Fletcher and with a blink of an eye, they disappeared.

"Uhm… brother, I don't think I can explain what happened…" Al mumbled.

Ed blinked and looked at the spot the two boys had originally stood. "I don't I can either, Al."

Hughes, on the other hand, continued to ramble on and on about his wife and such. "I remember when we got married –blah blah blah-"

"AHHH!" Russell and Fletcher screamed in horror as blackness surrounded them. They somehow felt like they were falling, it was hard to describe. _Really_ hard to describe.

They fell on hard ground, painfully.

"Where are we?" Fletcher gasped, looking around confused.

A little boy walked up to them and licked his lips.

"Hey kid, did you fall down that uhm… black thingy too?" Russell asked.

The boy rolled his eyes. "Hello Edward, Alphonse. My name is Pride."

"Hey! Wait a moment! Aren't you Selim Bradley?" Fletcher gasped.

"NO! MY NAME IS PRIDE!" Pride roared angrily. He growled angrily and then calmed down. "You must be wondering why you're here."

"Yeah… about that…" Russell started.

"Where are Roy Mustang and Izumi Curtis? We still need those two."

"Who're they?" Fletcher asked.

"You have to be joking. You _know_ them! Don't lie to me! Especially you Alphonse!"

"OOOHH!" Russell chuckled. "You think we're… No no no! I'm Russell and he's Fletcher."

"No, I know you're Ed and Al," Pride said stubbornly. "Don't try to trick me. I know who you are."

"I'm serious. I'm Russell."

"You're Ed."

"Russell."

"Fine. I'll call Mustang then," Pride huffed. Out of the shadows her picked up a phone and dialed in a number.

"_Hello, this is colonel Roy Mustang speaking."_

"Hi, I have Ed and Al here to be human sacrifices and if you want to spare their lives, give me 5 cenz."

"…_Wait… what? And why 5 cenz? What kind of kidnapper wants 5 cenz? Seriously, you can pick it up off the ground."_

"Hello? Ed and Al kidnapped? Dontcha wanna get them? Ugh, here, talk to them." Pride handed the phone to Russell.

"Uhm… Who are you?" Russell asked.

"_You're not Ed!"_

"Pride, the guy on the phone knows we're not Ed and Al. See? I told you so."

"Give me that!" Pride shouted grabbing the phone. He put his ear to the phone only to find out that Mustang had hung up. Once again, he dialed the number. "You hung up!"

"_Yeah well, first off, Hawkeye threatened me so I had to hang up and second, Ed and Al are right in front of me. Isn't that right, pipsqueak?"_

In the background, Pride heard a few explosions and outbursts…

"_WHO'RE CALLING SMALL YOU FREAKING GIANT?"_

Mustang chuckled.

Pride dropped the phone, his mouth wide open.

"_See_?" Russell and Fletcher told him.

Pride grumbled angrily. "I need to go see and eye doctor. But fine, you can leave."

Darkness enveloped Russell and Fletcher as they were sent back to where they were.

"Who was that, sir?" Hawkeye asked as Mustang put the phone back down.

He shrugged. "Some kid said he kidnapped Fullmetal and his brother."

"A prank call probably."

"Thanks what I was thinking!"

"Sir."

"Yes lieutenant?"

"Get back to work."

"I'm sorry lieutenant…"


End file.
